Beautiful piece Claire. One of the first things that I noticed when our 18 year old and youngest left home was this enormous pressure that came off. I had no idea that it was there, but it was (especially around dinner time, funnily enough).
It wasn't the kids or my husband who put the pressure on me, it was all me.
I think if I was to go back, I would share the load more and prioritise more discovery/play time.
We are conditioned by so many 'shoulds' and 'musts', I think we're finally seeing it for the BS it is and saying this isn't the story I want to tell anymore. 💕
I needed to read this today. As a newly single mum of two, fresh out of a 20 year relationship, I’ve been in fight or flight mode and needed some glimmers and reminders. Rest it is 💛
Aww Sarah. Sending so much love. That is very hard but yes taking care of our nervous system works so many wonders - I have to remind myself every single day! ✨
The guilt-free daytime tv break! Over the past few years I've realised the quality of being rebellious is a good thing not something negative (which is what I thought as a child). Hurrah for rebellion.
Yes totally, I’m now a mum to teens and I’ve gone from running my business between bringing them up and now moved into part time work, plus my business. However it’s still a guilt that a feel to make sure that I have thought about food and cook something for the family.
I really enjoyed this, Claire & was nodding constantly, so that got me thinking that it is broader than just mums. I think it is about being female so I loved the list of the ways it is changing. I'm a retired primary headteacher who still feels that guilt so it must be in the air. Keep going with your quiet rebellion.
It is my love... I like to write from the perspective of motherhood but I think the people pleasing of society at large is primarily a female identifying thing.
I love this Claire. I touched on this theme last week, after my friend Arnica and I booked a nice restaurant for lunch on a Friday, dressed up and took the rest of the week off. We both run our own businesses, so taking time off in the week requires a reframe for both of us. Our kids are older although my youngest is now at a sixth form 10 miles away and the nearest bus stop is 2 of those miles, so I'm still parent taxi, especially when the weather is vile. We enjoyed ourselves so much, we're making it a monthly thing.
My new 'me' time is that I've bought a season ticket to the Windsor Great Park car parks, so some days after I take Sam to school, I walk in the park and then have a coffee and write in the cafe there.
Oh I adore that - especially you dressed up - I'm dressing up on Wednesday for Lady Gaga - can't wait. Love cafe working too - it really is the key to romanticising our life - I get so much done.
This is fantastic Claire. I was looking for a paragraph to highlight and quote but honestly I wanted to highlight the whole thing. Here's to embracing peace in parking lots!
You know I’m so here for daily rebellious restoration in your garden 💪🏼 This week looks like a day at the spa on Monday- the first day of my working week. And then 20 minutes gardening on the other days around work and school run xx
Love this post Claire - the more we talk about and normalise rest for mothers, the less guilt we will feel around the idea of taking a break and not being productive too. My 3yo started morning nursery 2 weeks ago and instead of cramming chores or errands into that time, I'm choosing rest. And it feels good to push back against what is expected tbh! I'm also a fellow reality TV fan,enjoying MAFS atm and excited to see there's a new Love is Blind series out too! X
Aww thank you for sharing lovely. I think so too. It was interesting at a recent party we are all second time mums and we just sat and chatted and had coffee - I don't remember that first time round - I was always on my feet. LOVE Love is Blind too - I find it a bit harder to get into but love the reveals... we're all up to date on MAFS - me and my husband find it so interesting when the shadows start to play out. I've got tickets to see Paul Brunson in November - excited!
I love that you all sat down and had coffee instead of being on your feet. With my 3rd child I knew that I had to incorporate rest into my day, however small, otherwise my mental health would take a huge nosedive like it did with my first two. This is the power of rest for mums, it can change your whole motherhood experience. Yes, I feel like the Pod bits go on too long sonetimes in Love is Blind. So interesting, the guy who was sweet and too good to be true on honeymoon...he's done a complete 360 hasn't he! Oh that'll be a fab eve to see Paul Brunson too.
Love that sharpening of awareness around rest Jenna - it's so so precious and I think I observe more this time round because of it - I feel like I've slowed down time with Luna.
Love that your son knew what feminism was. Here's to eating the cake and solo trips!
Beautiful piece Claire. One of the first things that I noticed when our 18 year old and youngest left home was this enormous pressure that came off. I had no idea that it was there, but it was (especially around dinner time, funnily enough).
It wasn't the kids or my husband who put the pressure on me, it was all me.
I think if I was to go back, I would share the load more and prioritise more discovery/play time.
We are conditioned by so many 'shoulds' and 'musts', I think we're finally seeing it for the BS it is and saying this isn't the story I want to tell anymore. 💕
Like a waking up yes!! 🙉 ✨
Your son 🥹
I needed to read this today. As a newly single mum of two, fresh out of a 20 year relationship, I’ve been in fight or flight mode and needed some glimmers and reminders. Rest it is 💛
Aww Sarah. Sending so much love. That is very hard but yes taking care of our nervous system works so many wonders - I have to remind myself every single day! ✨
The guilt-free daytime tv break! Over the past few years I've realised the quality of being rebellious is a good thing not something negative (which is what I thought as a child). Hurrah for rebellion.
Hurrah indeed! I’m queuing up the taylor swift documentary to watch next week as away this week so no time for day time telly!
The fact that your son spoke up makes me so incredibly happy. That’s what I hope for my little guy ♥️
I know - it wasn't at all loaded- he just knew the answer you know... I wonder what the girls made of it...
Perimenopause is wild isn’t it? 🤪 It is discombobulating at times, at least we know we are not alone in our journey! ✨
Yes totally - I'm doing so much better than I was last year.
Yes totally, I’m now a mum to teens and I’ve gone from running my business between bringing them up and now moved into part time work, plus my business. However it’s still a guilt that a feel to make sure that I have thought about food and cook something for the family.
It's a lot love - I like that we can nourish ourselves in it all.
Love the fact the at he knew. Good work 👍I have two boys and I’m teaching them about the different waves too. And what we need in the next one …
Aww thanks and yes we need to.
I really enjoyed this, Claire & was nodding constantly, so that got me thinking that it is broader than just mums. I think it is about being female so I loved the list of the ways it is changing. I'm a retired primary headteacher who still feels that guilt so it must be in the air. Keep going with your quiet rebellion.
It is my love... I like to write from the perspective of motherhood but I think the people pleasing of society at large is primarily a female identifying thing.
I love this Claire. I touched on this theme last week, after my friend Arnica and I booked a nice restaurant for lunch on a Friday, dressed up and took the rest of the week off. We both run our own businesses, so taking time off in the week requires a reframe for both of us. Our kids are older although my youngest is now at a sixth form 10 miles away and the nearest bus stop is 2 of those miles, so I'm still parent taxi, especially when the weather is vile. We enjoyed ourselves so much, we're making it a monthly thing.
My new 'me' time is that I've bought a season ticket to the Windsor Great Park car parks, so some days after I take Sam to school, I walk in the park and then have a coffee and write in the cafe there.
It would be churlish not to dress up to go to the lovely gastro pub down the road!
I’ve discovered I get more done if I’m out. The flip side of hubby working at home is that when he wants company he comes and talks
Oh I adore that - especially you dressed up - I'm dressing up on Wednesday for Lady Gaga - can't wait. Love cafe working too - it really is the key to romanticising our life - I get so much done.
This is fantastic Claire. I was looking for a paragraph to highlight and quote but honestly I wanted to highlight the whole thing. Here's to embracing peace in parking lots!
Here's to that and our guilt free pleasures. xx
You know I’m so here for daily rebellious restoration in your garden 💪🏼 This week looks like a day at the spa on Monday- the first day of my working week. And then 20 minutes gardening on the other days around work and school run xx
Do you get changed for gardening? Love that you're starting with a spa day my love. Good for you and for alllll of us.
No I don’t. I just wear whatever i’m wearing for the day and as you know I love my clothes.
I’ve had to explore my feelings around ‘getting my clothes dirty’ definitely goes back to being told as a kid to not get my nice outfits mucky.
But I use a kneeler when I’m weeding and everything can be washed can’t it?
I believe there’s already enough blockers to women getting gardening to restore them so we don’t need our clothes to be another one.
Love that and that’s what I thought - I think you should lead with that more… like we just wash clothes after it’s easy!
Love this post Claire - the more we talk about and normalise rest for mothers, the less guilt we will feel around the idea of taking a break and not being productive too. My 3yo started morning nursery 2 weeks ago and instead of cramming chores or errands into that time, I'm choosing rest. And it feels good to push back against what is expected tbh! I'm also a fellow reality TV fan,enjoying MAFS atm and excited to see there's a new Love is Blind series out too! X
Aww thank you for sharing lovely. I think so too. It was interesting at a recent party we are all second time mums and we just sat and chatted and had coffee - I don't remember that first time round - I was always on my feet. LOVE Love is Blind too - I find it a bit harder to get into but love the reveals... we're all up to date on MAFS - me and my husband find it so interesting when the shadows start to play out. I've got tickets to see Paul Brunson in November - excited!
I love that you all sat down and had coffee instead of being on your feet. With my 3rd child I knew that I had to incorporate rest into my day, however small, otherwise my mental health would take a huge nosedive like it did with my first two. This is the power of rest for mums, it can change your whole motherhood experience. Yes, I feel like the Pod bits go on too long sonetimes in Love is Blind. So interesting, the guy who was sweet and too good to be true on honeymoon...he's done a complete 360 hasn't he! Oh that'll be a fab eve to see Paul Brunson too.
Love that sharpening of awareness around rest Jenna - it's so so precious and I think I observe more this time round because of it - I feel like I've slowed down time with Luna.
Absolutely agree with the slowing down of time too, so special ❤️
YES! yeah he really has - I was just saying ooo I don't think any of them are here for the gram and then uh oh - he defo is.